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Feeling: Calm. Loving my life. |
Eating: Um... life?
Wearing: Jeans, black tank top with built in bra, lavender panties, eith a little sleeping kitty on them, my claddagh, green choker and matching earrings, contacts, vestiges of the day's make-up, black belt.
Listening to: *Hummmmrumblerumblerumble* It's my washing machione making contented noises.
Chatting with: Keeping my own counsel.
Thinking: "I need to concentrate on my posture more."
Remembering: Dave's tongue ring.
Glad for: My ability to move past fear into growth.
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Today is: 2002-10-20 - @ 9:20 p.m.
- all time - is relative
I am so angry right now I am shaking. I was sitting in my room, talking on the phone to my friend ben when suddenly I hear a falling noise and yelps of a dog. Then I hear raised voices, my parents. I tell ben I have to call him back and leave my room to go see what happened. Apparently my mom was on her way down the stairs and the dog was in the way, so she attempted to push it out of her way with her foot. The dog slipped, and fell the rest of the way down the stairs, I don't know how far. My dad was screaming that my mom kicked him down the star (yeah right, god knows my mom hates our dog, sure. Bullfuckingshit) while my mom is trying to defend herself. For any of you that don't know me espically well, my mom gets horrendous migrains, and was in the thores of one so badly she asked my dad to take her to the hospital, which was why she was coming down the stairs. Back to the story. My dad is screaming at my mom, who is considerable pain and is snapping back. "Go ahead, take the fucking dog, he's more important that your wife," I think was what my mom said once. My mom grabs the keys, to drive herself to the hospital, and my dad atetmpts to stop her, getting rright next to the car, screaming in her face, etc. She finally gets out of the car, admitting th fact that she can't drive herself, but refusing to give that power the man who is currently berating incredibly harshly for a accident while she is in incredible pain. My dad tries to stand directly infront of her, preventing her from geting back to the house, ordering her to get back in the car, "and give me the fucking keys." My mom eventually gets around him and back into the house, where I step in more fully in an attempt to regain some normality and level-headedness. I try to get both of them to stop tlaking liong enough to cool down, so we can communicate effectively, but my dad tells em to shut up and storms into my sleeping uncles room to order him to drive my mom to the hospital, since she wont let him. My mom attempts to defend me, and dissolves into tears by the back door while I attempt to comfort her. "I didn't kick the dog down the stairs, I didn't." I ask her if she wants me to come with her to the hospital, she says yes, so I go into my room to grab a jacket. When I went outside my uncle and mom were gone. I am so angry I am shaking.
I can't think of a quote right now, all I can think of is that my mom could be dying of some disease, and we don't even know. God. Pray for me, in whatever way you do, or just think of me and my family in a positive way for a moment, please. Peter, please call my cell. I don't care what time it is, I'll be up all night.
all time - is relative