I love mankind; it's people I can't stand.

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Feeling: Calm. Loving my life.
Eating: Um... life?
Drinking:Dasani water
Wearing: Jeans, black tank top with built in bra, lavender panties, eith a little sleeping kitty on them, my claddagh, green choker and matching earrings, contacts, vestiges of the day's make-up, black belt.

Listening to:
*Hummmmrumblerumblerumble* It's my washing machione making contented noises.
Chatting with:
Keeping my own counsel.
Thinking: "I need to concentrate on my posture more."
Remembering: Dave's tongue ring.
Glad for: My ability to move past fear into growth.

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Today is: 2002-12-15 - @ 9:51 p.m.
Ben

all time - is relative
Ach, I feel like such an old person. I have been on my feet all day, between church and the concerts we had to do today, and I can feel my back knotting up as we speak. Goddamm scoliosis.

**You probably dont care about what I am about to detail below, so if you don't really know me, you most likely want to skip over it to the next paragraph. It is just facts.**

I told Ben fuck you to his face today. He had gotten all pissy when I started spending more time with Mike then him, becuase he thought I was letting our friendship go to the wayside. So, I worked things out to spend more time with him. Then, he starts going out wiht Barbara, and immediately starts spending all available time with her. Hm... hypocrisy anyone? Nah, don't know what your talking about. So, I'm cool with that though, I mean, I understand he really likes her and I'm really glad. And plus, I figure, we get to spend almost all of Sunday together, because of the concerts we have to perform. Well, I get there, and Ben blatantly ignores me and Kate. I finally drag him away from his new-found friends and ask him if I get to spend any time with him today. He replies that he doesn't know, he'll see if he can fit me in. I thought I was his best friend. I just walked away, I was so hurt at his callousness. So I walked over to Marcos, a really cool mutual new friend and tell him what happened. I end with, "..and I was just thinking to myself, you know, fuck you Ben." A split second later, I look behind me, and Ben was standing right there. Because I am not the type of person to say things behind people's back that I wouldn't say to their face, so I promptly said, "Fuck you. You know, I'm sorry, but I am extremely hurt right now." And I walked away. I'm fine now, I love Ben and have completely forgiven him, but I do have to chronicle my feelings, and that is the way I felt at the time. I am honestly ok now.

Quote for the Entry: "I never meant to hurt you." -ben.

I know. I love you too Ben.


all time - is relative

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