I love mankind; it's people I can't stand.

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Feeling: Calm. Loving my life.
Eating: Um... life?
Drinking:Dasani water
Wearing: Jeans, black tank top with built in bra, lavender panties, eith a little sleeping kitty on them, my claddagh, green choker and matching earrings, contacts, vestiges of the day's make-up, black belt.

Listening to:
*Hummmmrumblerumblerumble* It's my washing machione making contented noises.
Chatting with:
Keeping my own counsel.
Thinking: "I need to concentrate on my posture more."
Remembering: Dave's tongue ring.
Glad for: My ability to move past fear into growth.

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Today is: 2002-12-16 - @ 5:31 p.m.
STASHAAAAAAHHHH!!!

all time - is relative
I just realized that my father is verbally abusive. I always knew, on some level, that he was, but not really. Does that make sense? It doesn't seem to be. I just didn't know any other way it could be. I thought everyone's father just screamed horrible insults and threatened them. I have completely blocked out a family vacation because it culminated in his screaming, "Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP, SHUT UP!!!" for a sustained pierod of time while speeding along a road from Tahoe. I have no recollection of my aunt's wedding. I realized that a big reason I was taking the way that Ben was treating me so hard was that he was acting like my father in some ways, and while I couldn't cuss out my father, I can cuss out Ben. Misdirected energy can fuck a lot of things up. On a lighter note, in typical abusive pattern, my father is currently trying to buy his guilt away. Which means I am getting a Playstation 2 for Christmas. Maybe next time I'll get some more games.

Hmm...I'm trying to think of something good that happened today. There was this really massive hurricane-ish storm, and I got completely soaked, which made me grumble all day. Wait, that's not good. Hmm... Mike makes me happy. Wait, I pissed him off today. Come on, something good must have happened today. Ooh, I got one. It isn't exactly good, it is just funny. It was lunch, and I was walking along one of the halls with Mike to go get out lunch when I run into my very zealous math teacher. Now this hall has really great acoustics, and it echoes really loud. Well, I see my math teacher, and he is the tennis coach as well, so he has a really really loud voice. He sees me, and yells out my name, "STASHAAAAAAAAHHH!" incredibly loudly, making some nearby freshman jump. Now, my name doesn't have an h at the end,he just puts it there. Also, he made it sound like he was about to do a judo chop. Mike just looks at me, and we bust up laughing. There. That was good. Except now everyone who was in the packed hall thinks my name is STASHAAAAAAHHH.

Quote for the Entry: "Get off the computer, NOW!" -My mom, like 2 seconds ago. Heh. Sorry.


all time - is relative

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