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Feeling: Calm. Loving my life. |
Eating: Um... life?
Wearing: Jeans, black tank top with built in bra, lavender panties, eith a little sleeping kitty on them, my claddagh, green choker and matching earrings, contacts, vestiges of the day's make-up, black belt.
Listening to: *Hummmmrumblerumblerumble* It's my washing machione making contented noises.
Chatting with: Keeping my own counsel.
Thinking: "I need to concentrate on my posture more."
Remembering: Dave's tongue ring.
Glad for: My ability to move past fear into growth.
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Today is: 2003-01-30 - @ 9:43 p.m.
I just yawned and my body went all tingly. Cool. all time - is relative
2 hour rehersal. If I didn't love singing so much, I'd soooo bitch about them.
I realized something. I said something to Marcos (my favourite tenor) before Mike and I were dating, and he brought it up because I was explaining my thoughts about the way Mike is acting. I had said something to the point of, "I wouldn't have boyfriends if I had a vibrator." And that was true. Then. But then again, 'then' was when I had my emotional needs fulfilled by Ben. Which no longer happens. So I actually had to turn to my boyfriends for emotional support for once (oh, what a concept!) and Mike doesn't really. I really get the feeling that I am just a casual friend of his that sometimes macks with him. And yes, I do use that crude word intentionally. Because that is all it seems to be to him. I realize I am the one who is putting myself in this situation, this way I am feeling though. I don't have anyone to hold accountable but myself. So I don't hold any animosity towards Mike, it isn't his fault, he is just being himself to the best of his ability. But what I'm wondering is whether or not he is being completely honest about the way he is feeling.
Why is it all of these people I do not know believe that talking negatively about me behind will improve their self-esteem? It really doesn't. Honest.
Quote for the Entry: "I think everyone wants to stab Greg Gorrindo in the stomach once in a while. The difference is what kind of weapon you use. I'm more of a machete type of gal." -Me, to Marcos.
If you knew Greg Gorrindo, you'd agree.
all time - is relative