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Feeling: Calm. Loving my life. |
Eating: Um... life?
Wearing: Jeans, black tank top with built in bra, lavender panties, eith a little sleeping kitty on them, my claddagh, green choker and matching earrings, contacts, vestiges of the day's make-up, black belt.
Listening to: *Hummmmrumblerumblerumble* It's my washing machione making contented noises.
Chatting with: Keeping my own counsel.
Thinking: "I need to concentrate on my posture more."
Remembering: Dave's tongue ring.
Glad for: My ability to move past fear into growth.
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Today is: 2003-02-02 - @ 8:50 a.m.
Whatever. all time - is relative
No entry yesterday. I was distracted.
Ben called me yesterday. But it was to say he couldn't talk, he was going to go out, so don't expect him to call me back later. I haven't expected him to call me in a while, that's just getting my hopes up. No, this isn't me giving up on him, I just know better than to get my hopes up when he says he will call me. That right there is just setting myself up for dissapointment. I still love him, he's still my best guy friend, but I know I'm not as important to him anymore. He's popular, had a girlfriend, and doesn't need me. I can't remember the last time we had a decent convo. I remeber him saying he literally spends almost all of his time with Barbara. And yet I am expected to feel bad for Barbara because she gets jealous easy? Well I do, but screw that shit about me being expected to feel sorry for her. She doesn't feel sorry for me, and she took my best friend. She thinks I'm an extremely annoying, immature little girl. Well fuck that. I'm getting tired of playing 'the better one' the one who doesn't try to manipulate Ben into doing what she wants. If I didn't care so much about Ben, there would be war. And I play hardball.
Quote for the Entry: "Well, what can I say, sorry." -Ben.
Whatever Ben, whatever.
all time - is relative