I love mankind; it's people I can't stand.

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Feeling: Calm. Loving my life.
Eating: Um... life?
Drinking:Dasani water
Wearing: Jeans, black tank top with built in bra, lavender panties, eith a little sleeping kitty on them, my claddagh, green choker and matching earrings, contacts, vestiges of the day's make-up, black belt.

Listening to:
*Hummmmrumblerumblerumble* It's my washing machione making contented noises.
Chatting with:
Keeping my own counsel.
Thinking: "I need to concentrate on my posture more."
Remembering: Dave's tongue ring.
Glad for: My ability to move past fear into growth.

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Today is: 2002-05-12 - @ 7:25 p.m.
david... (doesn't deserve a capital)

all time - is relative
I'm sitting here right now, looking out the window. I'm staring at a place outside where I always used to sit and talk on the phone ot my then boyfriend, david. He was, I want to say dick, but that isn't exactly true, there was more to him then that, he was....complicated. Horrible family life with abusive parents, drugs, alcohol, the whole bit. When I first met him...he was dating my best friend. And his best friend, Travis, was trying as hard as he could to get me to go out with him. Poor dorky Travis. I ended up going out with him later for over 6 months, it was my longest relationship, but that's for later. There was a double date of sorts one day, Ariel and David, and Travis and me, although Travis and I weren't really a couple. Well, we went out, had fun, did stupid stuff, then Ariel and I came back to my house. We were sitting on my bed, and I remeber this like yesterday, and she said, 'I think I am going to dump David. He kisses like moose." To which I replied,"Hell, if you don't want him, I'll take him. He's cute." Well, not to long after Ariel dumped him, I called to see how he was. Purely philanthropic desires, of course. Well, we got to talking. And talking. And talking. For over 4 hours. And this pattern continued day after day after day. Finally, he asked me out. I accepted. (Travis was heartbroken, but I did eventually end up going out with him. Yes, yes, I know that was horribly bitchy of me. I deserve 40 lashes with a wet noodle.) We talked and talked and talked. He never even kissed me, so I never got to know wether or not he kissed like a moose. But he definatley had problems up the wazoo. Well, I was intoxicated with this feeling that I had never had before. Then one day when my other best friend Nikki was over, he calls me. We start talking,and he starts feeding me this story about how this girl he used to be involved with before he knew me had been forbiddened to speak to him. But recently, the restriction had been lifted, and she had started calling him again. He still had feelings for her. Tearfully, I told him I would never hold him back from something that would make him happy. He switched schools shortly thereafter, so David faded form my life for a while. Then, I was talking to one of his old female friends, and she asked why we had broken up, we were such a cute couple. So I tell her that story, and she starts laughing. "He told you that story too? God, for a liar, you think he would come up for a different story." Flabbergasted, I asked her to explain. Apparently the story was complete crap. That was his imfamous exit line and she was frankly suprised I hadn't heard about it before. Wow, talk about salt on a wound. I hated him with renewed vigor. Oh, I saw him occasionally. Always snubbed him. Then, about a month ago, 2 years after David and I broke up, Ariel ran into him at a dance club. They didn't recongnize each other, only thought the other was hot. The exchanged names and did a double take. For some unknown reason, Ariel gives him my number and tells him to call me. He does and I nearly bowl over laughing. I am so completely over this guy by now I can barely remeber what he looks like. Well, he starts apologizing, and doing the whole two-step bit with everything. I enoy extracting revenge, so I just let him wiggle a bit. Then he says he wants to make it up to me, and would I meet him at the beach this Saturday? Sure I said. Now, you have to understand I love my boyfriend to death, and I was telling him everything as it happened, so he knew there was nothing going on between us. So, we made plans to meet and he said he was bringing food, and the whole bit. Well, I spent that entire Saturday in my boyfriend arms as David sat in the sand. Extremely petty, I know, but hey, I'm a freshman, and this guy hurt me to an extent where I didn't date for a year. And it made me love and appreciate my boyfriend all the more.

<3,

Stasha


all time - is relative

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