I love mankind; it's people I can't stand.

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Feeling: Calm. Loving my life.
Eating: Um... life?
Drinking:Dasani water
Wearing: Jeans, black tank top with built in bra, lavender panties, eith a little sleeping kitty on them, my claddagh, green choker and matching earrings, contacts, vestiges of the day's make-up, black belt.

Listening to:
*Hummmmrumblerumblerumble* It's my washing machione making contented noises.
Chatting with:
Keeping my own counsel.
Thinking: "I need to concentrate on my posture more."
Remembering: Dave's tongue ring.
Glad for: My ability to move past fear into growth.

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Today is: 2002-06-06 - @ 9:29 p.m.
Go ahead, I don't give a fuck

all time - is relative
I am in place that is mostly pain. I have been crying for about a half an hour straight. I can't talk to my 'boyfriend', my 'best friend' doesn't give a shit if I die, and the only goddamm person left 'can't deal' with my shit. Well, let me give you a big resounding FUCK YOU to Peter. Can't deal with me? YOU can't deal with me? Oh please. I never actually thought you were that capable of being that weak. How the hell did you think I felt, asshole? "I can't say this, it might throw peter into a downer," "Oh, I can't take any of the cruel things he says to heart, he's on a downer," "I can't tell Peter how I really feel, becuase I have hurt him enough." I am soo fucking glad you are out of my life. I am so sick of crying over your sorry ass. And don't you dare read this and think you have to try to reconcile things, because I have already punched one guy in the nuts today, and if you get close enough, you're number two. You are such a dick. YOU, of all people, called me self centered. I have a hard time dealing with this. I am yet to find a letter from you that doesn't somehow delve into your problems. And yet, when I have a bad figgin day, I am a immature bitch who you 'can't deal with'. You are so fucking pathetic. Get a normal fucking girlfriend your own age and pile all of your problems on her. Can you even begin to imagine all the times I wanted to talk about something, something in my day, and all I get is your problems. I feel drunk. I want you to hold me again so badly, and I want to beat your ass into the ground and dance. I hate you so much, mainly becuase of how much I care. I want to have never met you, to never have met ariel, to never had these times of false joy in the sun only to burn in the darkness. Stay the fuck away from me. I hurt so very much, it is eating at me and leaving only tears. I just don't understand anymore. Do you know me? Do you truly know me? Have you seen me recently? Do you see me now? With mascara running down my cheeks and so very very cold? I ache so horribly and I just want to go away forever. Do you remeber, Peter? Do you remeber what you said that one day? I had just written some entry abbout my wish about always being loved unconditionally. You said you hope that I knew you always would. For someone who hates liars, you are awfully hypocritcal.

Quote for the Entry: "Hold you head up and blow your brains out." -The Bloodhound Gang. I think you can figure out why.

all time - is relative

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