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Feeling: Calm. Loving my life.
Eating: Um... life?
Drinking:Dasani water
Wearing: Jeans, black tank top with built in bra, lavender panties, eith a little sleeping kitty on them, my claddagh, green choker and matching earrings, contacts, vestiges of the day's make-up, black belt.

Listening to:
*Hummmmrumblerumblerumble* It's my washing machione making contented noises.
Chatting with:
Keeping my own counsel.
Thinking: "I need to concentrate on my posture more."
Remembering: Dave's tongue ring.
Glad for: My ability to move past fear into growth.

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Today is: 2002-06-04 - @ 9:29 p.m.
Rosaline

all time - is relative
I had to write a diary thing for a unobtursive character in Romeo and Juliet, so I choose Rosaline, the girl who Romeo was 'in love' with before Juliet. just read it.

Mother has commanded me to keep a record of my days, so that it can be proved to visiting noble women that we of Verona are actually educated. I have little to speak of, for I will not speak of business or horses, for that is menís talk. Mother told me to write of what I know, and I know myself, so I will write of myself. My name is Rosaline. I have recently sworn chastity for God and am not regretting at all. Godís love is everlasting. My life is filled with very little except reading, praying, and attending to Mother, and I wish it so. We live with my venerable Father in Verona, the fairest city. I have naught to speak of, lest I seem vain, so for now I will retire, as it is the Hour of Vespers. Fair well.

I shall neíer say again that I have naught to speak of, lest I be made a liar yet again. Today was a positive rain of un-ladylike actions of which I was forced to behold. I was beholden to fetch myself to the market with Nurse to help with the eggs and there I had to see vulgar display of masculinity and aggression, which should and oft is reserved for barrooms and hunts, not fit for a ladyís ears nor eyes. The long-standing feud between the families of Capulet and Montague was once again brought to a brawling head not more then 15 feet from whence I stood! They commenced with the common insults and thumb biting (which I wish I had not seen) then drew their swords and actually began to fight! I was so aghast that my mouth was in the most unacceptable state of being open without being covered. I still burn with shame for that. I still must repent. I ran back to Nurse when I realized what I had done, but apparently the Prince came and declare that, shall there be another public brawl, there would be death to pay! I am still quite flushed with the excitement and do believe that I shall retire, as I feel faint.

If much more of my life is disrupted in this way, I do believe I shall not live to be five-and-twenty. My cousin, Lord Capulet, hath had a feast this night. At this festivity, I had the misfortune to run across the one known as Romeo. He is part of the feuding pair and was most certainly not invited. I can say that I know him, as he pursued me relentlessly until I took my vows of chastity. Before this night I saw him as naught but a nuisance, and yet, when I saw him daringly bold as he strode into the festivities, I must admit my heart fell into that terrible affliction known as heart palpitations. My brow went cool, my chest went hot, and my dancing partner had to be reassured that I would not faint into his arms. I quickly excused myself from the dancing to watch my beloved, assured that I could win him back. He seemed appropriately detached, as a scorned lover should. I could not wait until I comfort him. Then, just as I order my feet to hurry me to my belovedís side, his face light up like my hearth on a winterís night. I looked around, scrying for a serving plate or a brawl. Yet all I saw was my cousin Juliet dancing with a young man. I assumed that Romeo knew the young man, which would explain his peculiar actions. But, nay, it be not so, for Julietís partner was my own brother, who would certainly not converse with Romeo. The rest of that night was pure and utter torture for me. I was the only witness to their meeting, and it racks my heart so. I was so heartbroken that I left to sit outside and pray. I must go now, for my Mother beckons, and I must heed her call. I shall write more later, after Vespers.

Ah, blessed respite. It is late, and I am burning a clandestine candle to write this, but I must chronicle what I was witness to. Last night, after I had left to go outside and pray, I saw Juliet leave whom Romeo followed a few minutes later. I decided to follow him, just to bless my eyes with the view of him one last time. But then I realized that he was heading toward the Capulet orchard. I hid in an alley as his drunken friend s passed by, searching for him. I felt a deep desire to call out the location of their evader, yet I was too frightened by the drunkenness of his companions. I regretfully followed Romeo to the orchard and, unladylike, clambered over their wall. I was aghast at the shameful state of undress that he observed Juliet in on her balcony. Even worse so was the fact that they not only spoke to one another, but also exchanged promises for wedding vows! And I was offended by their vulgar displays of affection, which actually included kissing. I cannot write anymore, lest I disgust myself too much for sleeping. Damn Romeo, for bewitching me and then my cousin! He shall pay.

I have completely lost all respect for my cousin. She is known for being flighty and insubstantial, but she goes so far as to disgrace the family name by taking marriage vows when not given blessings form the parents. Yes, I wrote correctly, my cousin is married. To Romeo. It is still sinking in how she could be so defiant against Lord and Lady. I had gotten shrift for confessional early this morning, for I wish for a time of peace to repent. As I sat there in the pew, I must shamefully admit I fell asleep, slipping unto the floor, hiding me from view. Later, how much later I know naught, I was awoken to the sound of footsteps. Afraid of being caught napping under the eyes of our Lord, I shrunk back down into my hiding place. From there I witnessed my fool-hardy cousin and that evil, evil man put themselves before the Lord and take their marriage vows, in the same place I took my chastity vows not a fortnight before. That evil Romeo has done naught but corrupt my cousin and place her in the hands of the Devil himself. I am quite convinced that he is in the league of evil with the Devil himself, to further himself. Oh thank the Lord, in all his mercy, for strengthening me when I was to fall to his will, lest I be made another Juliet. I know now, He has purpose for me, and that is to be in the battle of dark against light, with Romeo as the spreading darkness.

Darkness has struck again, this time at the very heart of my family. I am still dumb struck at what happened this day. I can still hear grieving in the halls of my familyís house, and I am sure that it will extend far into the night. Oh, Lord, Father who art in Heaven, thou dost truly work in ways beyond our understanding. Thine own cousin, Tybalt, doth lie slain in the marketplace of our fair city. I was a witness to it all, and still the dreadful, final sound of Romeoís sword sinking into the breast of Tybalt echoes in my head. I fear this entry makes little sense, but I care to, I am so racked with grief I can barely hold this diary. My sight is blurred by unshed tears, held back at the anger at that missionary of darkness, that horrible, horrible Romeo. Not only does he corrupt Juliet, but also then he takes her cousinís life not more than 3 hours later. I am being shaken with a rage that I know has been divinely sent, and I know that the strength it gives me must be used against this evil that lie in our midst. There has been one bright spot in this dismal day. Romeo has been banished.

I used to pity Juliet, attributing her bad choices to being under the influence of that spawn of evil, but now I must own up to the fact that she must have accepted the devil into her soul, or she wouldnít have made the choices she did. Her soul was almost saved! She was given a chance to redeem herself in the eyes of the Lord! And do you know what she did with it? Threw it away! Threw it into the gutter that shall be the ever-lasting resting-place for her immortal soul! Lord and Lady Capulet, in their infinite wisdom, bestowed upon their errant daughter the gift of marriage, and to the wonderful County Paris not more than a fortnight from this day hence. I had been ordered to the Capuletís house to express my families sorrow. When I got there, I was redirected up the stairs to Julietís room where I listened to them. Julietís defiant behavior shocked me and I had to resist the temptation to burst into the room, explaining everything, and demanding Romeoís head. But instead I hid in a room next to hers and listened as she left and came back. She had with her a poison. I listened with foreboding as she described what was to happen. I heard her fall against the bed and resisted the urge to run out at once and alert whoever would listen. Juliet has given her immortal soul to the Prince of Darkness, and I can do naught but pray. I was witness to the sick satire of her funeral, and only because of the chance of Juliet not waking up did I not speak out. At least then her family could have rest, thinking in their ignorant bliss that she died with no sins. It is too late for her, but her family is still grieves.

The living evil has been vanquished, and I am victorious! I am filled with such joy that I can hardly keep from running through the streets of Verona, calling out the glad news. Romeo and Juliet are dead! Romeo and Juliet are dead! I was a glad witness to their last moments, so close yet so deliciously far. I would have driven the blade into Julietís heart myself, had she not done it herself. I did wait at the ground of the vault, knowing that Julietís dark counterpart could not stay away from his mistress of the night. I slept in the rotting leaves of birch tree I was under, and was awakened to the sounds of footsteps. Muttering the Psalms under my breath, I grabbed the dagger I had found prepared to sheath it into the chest of Romeo, and relish as his dark blood bubbled up and the Lord welcomed me for doing him such a service. And yet, my joy was yet unbound, for it was only the County Paris, come to pay respects to Juliet. Then, as I was entranced by the movements of Paris, he arrived. I stood transfixed as I watched the man and evil fight, certain that black angels were alighting upon Parisís shoulders and biting into him. Paris fell under the ill-brought blows of Romeo, and the repulsive victor strode into the vault. I snuck in, armed and ready. Soon after though, I realized that Romeo thought Juliet was really dead. I nearly danced with glee. I watched with rapture as he pulled out a bottle filled with clear liquid, and swallowed it down with yet another vulgar kiss. That fool, sad excuse for a Friar came and left as Juliet awoke, leaving her with the corpse of her immoral lover. I was not aware that beings of evil could cry, but she is still a husk of humanity. I felt no compassion. I resisted the urge to run and plunge my dagger into her defiled heart, only to see her look for Romeoís. As she lamented, I snuck up and laid upon the still warm corpse of Romeo my own dagger. She spotted it. I was ecstatic. I was doing the Lordís work, and relieving this world of one more sinner. As she brought the righteous blade upon her now black heart, I was filled with a pour white joy, instilled in me by the Lord. I must stop writing now, for the Lord is calling me, and I am at his wishes.

Quot for the Entry: "Ther problem with being unique is you are always alone."-me, becuase i am watchig Sherk and feeling bad for the donkey.


all time - is relative

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